Drink once: Everytime you check the back of the box to make sure that this movie about women' sports was directed by the same guy who made Unforgiven.

Drink again: Every time you check the back of the box to make sure this movie won the Best Picture Oscar. Finish your beer and open another one: When the sadistic fucks who wrote the movie start making your girlfriend cry just because they can.

Keep drinking: After the movie has ended and your girlfriend decides that she wants to "talk about what the movie meant." Fail to enunciate your words: As you argue that it' best not to dwell on what was clearly one of the most horrific movie-viewing experiences of either of your lives.